Friday, April 24, 2009

Erotic Love Making Ideas!

I'm getting Erotic Lovemaking ideas - Until "My cup runneth over And my e-mailbox filleth Upeth!"

I reached a new milestone today

- I set a personal best record

- I shattered my best prior attempts!

- I won the gold medal and walked away with the crown for the all time highest level of STUFF in my e-mail box.

Today I reached the "Oh @#$&" level.

Just two days ago, I made a concerted effort to whittle my number down to a "Just way too much" level. After taking some time off on vacation and just getting behind with life in general, my box swelled a bit so I spent some time earlier in the week deleting junk and spam that had slipped through my filters. Surprisingly, I woke up this morning and realized I had somehow blown through the "way too much number" and reached the panic level!

Where does all this crap come from? Some of it is truly important. And yeah, some of it is absolute junk. Those two categories I can deal with right away. Read it, download it, act on it, file it, or delete it. It's all the stuff in between that is starting to get me a bit riled. Stuff I've got to think about and come back to. And what about those dear friends and family members who send me every joke, anecdote, and piece of political humor that comes across their monitor? (Are you one of those people?) I've managed to find my way onto several of those lists. I'm sorry uncle Al, I don't really want to read another email that requires me to forward it to another 100 friends and family. Many of these folks who send me email junk are retired and semi-retired and I get it..... They've got time to read, laugh at, and then forward all that junk to me! They don't want me to miss out on the laughs. Don't worry guys and dolls, I get enough humor laughing at my own dumb antics.

And lately, I must be on every newsletter list in the world. Jeez! I don't have time to read these things. And If I get another notice about a great golf tournament that I can't play in I think I'll blow a gasket!

But the truth be known, my cover is blown. Someone has acquired my email address and now I'm getting tons more spam. That's what's killing me. Most of it goes to my spam folder but some of it is sneaking through. Just for giggles, I browsed through some of the subject lines in my spam folder. Here are a few:

  • Discover your flat sexy stomach

  • Oprah's amazing diet

  • Find foreclosures in your area fast

  • Rid your colon of weight and toxins (tempting)

  • 3 Sex positions for Pregnant women (Don't need that one)

  • Boost your energy Now- the natural way

  • Sex and Kung Fu- learn to control your mind and body

  • Your credit score may have changed

  • Tribbulus Terrestris Extract -( What the heck is that?)

  • Ooops- This one is not spam - Better read it!

  • And of course - 4 Erotic Love making ideas!

I think curiosity killed my cat when I opened an email with a catchy title. I won't say which one but I'm sure you can guess. You know me by now, I'm a sucker for a good idea. Someone (or some computer program) figured out that they had a live fish on the other end of the line. Or at least a dumb one. Now I'm getting spammed to death.

No more SPAM!


Enough Already!

I've got blogging to do!


Jane Turley said...

Hmm...Miss Jane draws out her pen and makes note to herself;

"Never send Mr I emails titled Erotic Love Making Ideas"....

What a pity! I was thinking those cookery recipes I send you were a tad boring....

dickster1961 said...

II, you forgot the #1 spam item:

Do you want a bigger ....

Chris said...

What, you don't like Spam? Maybe you just don't have the right recipe. :) hehe

intrepidideas said...

Jane, keep sending the recipes. I'm deleting everything else. :)

Dickster... You're right! I'd forgotten about that subject line. I haven't seen one of those lately but there was period when I was receiving a steady dose of "Bigger is Better."

I'm in the mood for some Spam and Eggs. Unless of course, you've got a better suggestion. Something that you want to share! :)