Thursday, December 6, 2007

Saying Goodbye

How do you say goodbye to a friend?

So far, I've managed to deal with my own mortality pretty well. I've faced a few life or death situations and didn't completely go to pieces. At least they felt like life or death at the time.Turns out that things weren't as bad as they seemed. And ultimately, I seemed to be no worse off for the experience. That being said, the place I fall short is when it comes to dealing with the loss of others. I don't really know what to say to people who have suffered a loss and I find it difficult to understand my emotions when I lose someone.

Today, I lost a special friend and loved one. Her name was Emma and she was 84 years old. I met her 14 years ago. From the very first day we met, she welcomed me into her family and treated me as her son. She was very good to me and never asked for anything in return. When I made mistakes, she stood by me and offered words of comfort. She shared in my success and made me laugh. And boy could she cook! Every one of her meals was prepared with Love, and reflected her passion. Her cooking was a creation. A work of Art! Each dish a masterpiece! Nothing was spared. Only the finest ingredients and the presentation....... Purely spectacular! She paid me the highest compliment by enjoying my grilling techniques and admiring my cooking. (She loved my grilled fish, ribs, and BBQ'd chicken)

The last two years of her life have be challenging at best. An accidental fall seemed to accelerate her appointment with Alzheimer's disease. A few minor strokes which followed robbed her ability to care for herself. Nonetheless, she continued to fight to live as her health deteriorated.

Today she lost her final round and moved on to a much better place.

Somehow, in the next few days I will find a way to say goodbye to her and let her know what she meant to me. I'll let her know that I cherished her friendship and enjoyed her love. I'll miss her. I'm glad she will not suffer any more. She is gone and certainly not forgotten. I'll endeavor to be more compassionate to those around me who have experienced the loss of loved one, a companion, a friend.

Goodbye Emma.... Bon Voyage


Pam Hoffman said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I know that when someone has been suffering, the suffering is over at this point.

When I lost my grandparents, I remember feeling their presence still. Seemed like I could just talk to them.

We don't really know what happens after this, heck, THIS might be the afterlife. Who knows???

We do the best we can and we remember those who we don't see anymore and sometimes, carry on their traditions.

Keep on cooking for Emma!

Pam Hoffman

p.s. thank you for waiting on this. :)

intrepidideas said...

Thanks Pam for the kind words. Good point on the traditions and the cooking. Thanks to you, I'll think of her now every time I cook. Cosmic stuff on the: "This might be the afterlife" thing. I'll have to digest that one. Take care, and come back.

josey said...

oh intrepid, please accept my deepest condolences. i understand how sometimes you just dont know how to feel and how to express it at times like these.

i agree with pam wholeheartedly. in addition, simply upholding any beliefs, heeding advice or modeling your life after something in her you admired is to me, the best way you can show Emma you still love and care about what she did with her life.

i will be thinking of you, and will pray that you can find the words (even if very few) to say what you need to and that you will feel peace and joy even though Emma is no longer physically with you.

take care,

Bennie said...
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Bennie said...

Saying goodbye to a friend or a loved one is never easy. I too have had my share within the past few months. But amazingly enough, life goes as we learn to keep them close to us in our thoughts, hearts and minds. Emma would have been proud of your wonderful tribute!