When I first heard about the Lingerie Football League, I thought it was a joke. As in, "there really can't be an entire league of women teams that compete in lingerie - it's all a facade! Right?
Wrong!
The Seattle Mist
The LFL is for real! The concept of the LFL originated from the Super Bowl halftime alternative television special called the Lingerie Bowl which draws millions of viewers worldwide. The event is a pay-per-view event which is shown annually directly opposite the Super Bowl halftime show. The show has become a staple for many and currently is broadcast in 85 countries. Sure, I remember the ads - But I wouldn't dare miss the halftime show to watch a "powder puff" game. At least that was my thinking back then. Now I know differently. It's more than a "powder puff" game.
The teams play full-contact football which is similar to other indoor football leagues. They play 7 on 7 players on a 50 yard field. Uniforms consist of helmets, shoulder pads, elbow pads, knee pads, bras, and panties. (I wonder if they'll be wearing sports bras or padded bras?) There are no field goals and no punts. There is a kickoff to start the game and the second half.
The league was founded by Mitchell Mortaza, a 35-year-old sports marketer from Los Angeles about six years ago. The league's administrative offices are in West Hollywood, California.
Without a doubt, this league adds a whole new dimension to fantasy football! The kind where grown men sit around and hope for an equipment malfunction of some sort and the kind where High Definition television makes all the difference in the world. I still don't think I'll miss the halftime show but the next time I see a game on television, I might tune in for a few ummm Downs!
Truly a Courageous Idea! Learn more about the LFL by clicking here
By now, I would think that most of you have probably heard the song -
" I will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor.
(click to see Youtube video), In this song she rallies all the women who have been dealt a dirty deed by their "No good Men" and hypnotizes them with her funky beat and soulful melodic voice into a state of frenzy. I'm sure many of you have been in a bar or night club when this song played? Did you notice how all of the women in the place knew all of the words and proved it by singing as loud as they possibly could? While all the men sat there meekly with their heads bowed bashfully in their drinks. The dance floor always fills up with groups of ladies dancing with each other and that energy sets the mark for the night.
And men- have you ever been driving in the car with a date, girlfriend, wife or lover when the song hit the waves? Ever notice how the volume is never loud enough for this particular song? Notice how the women always reach down and crank it up just a little bit and then manage to out sing and out-volume the radio.
Some would argue that these are subtle biological messages sent by women to the male species designed to raise their level of interest and call out the most suitable mate. And on an intellectual note, I'd buy that. I'd also praise the spirit of the song and the liberation it gives to some women who have emerged from ugly relationships. But equally, I've learned to detest the song over the years. I guess in reality, I don't detest the song so much as I resent being the target of some of the built up aggression that stems from those destructive relationships.
So over the years, I've come up with my own name for this song: I've affectionately renamed it: The B-HOLW Song. (pronounced Bee Hole). For - The Battle Hymn of Liberated Women! Some, erroneously assume I mean "Butt Hole" and that stands for the guy in the song (smile).
I named it BHOLW after a date with a "liberated woman." Yes, a few years back I went on a second date with a young lady that I thought I was pretty fond of. We shared a dinner together in which she opened up to me about all of the horrible relationships she had suffered through in the past. Not what I consider a good idea by the way. Opening that can of worms on a second date..... Bad Plan. It can sour the evening and be quite a turn off. Nonetheless, I endured it all and thought to myself - She'll think I'm "Prince Charming" after dealing with all of those dirt bags!
So after dinner we agreed to mix it up with some dancing. And that's when it happened...... I suppose the two hours we spent over dinner discussing her prior bad relationships conjured up some evil demons. Ironically, we found ourselves on the dance floor when they played the B-HOLW song. And since it was our second date I foolishly agreed to stay and dance with her. It occurred to me later that I was the only male on the floor. But that's okay, I stood there and took my punishment like a man. I danced through finger pointing, attitude, and a little shower of spittle as she screamed "I will survive" in my face!
I don't need to say that our relationship didn't go anywhere after that. That night pretty much killed any desire that I might have had for romance with her. Perhaps it was my fragile ego, my insensitivity to her pain and suffering, or simply my unwillingness to take the bullet for all of my fellow brothers who trampled on her heart in the past. I was certainly happy for where she was in her life and I was thrilled that she could move on and keep her self-respect. But I was looking to be a giver and receiver of some TLC and not the destination point for years of her aggression and rage! I guess the bottom line was -to put it in Chuck Woolery's words:
"We didn't have a Love Connection!"
So fast forward a few years. I've made peace with the BHOLW song. I can listen to the entire thing without cringing. And I've actually learned to like two other recent songs with similar themes. The first is Irreplaceable by Beyonce where she shows her man the door and packs up all of his stuff "To the Left.. To the Left." The second, and the song I'm really digging right now is: Before He Cheats by the American Idol Queen - Carrie Underwood.
Now that's a great song! As you know by now, I enjoy songs with great lyrics. And this song has got a mouth full. I'm not talking your typical corny and sappy stuff either. This song really hits home with some powerful, vengeful, incendiary stuff. So here, watch the video and enjoy!
Now that's what I call liberating! I'd imagine there's a whole lot of freedom generated when you swing a Louisville Slugger into your boyfriends headlights!
You all be nice out there and have some fun.......
I'm attaching the lyrics below so feel free to sing along:
"Before He Cheats"
Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blond tramp,and she's probably getting frisky...
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey...
Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo...
And he don't know...
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
Right now, she's probably up singing some white-trash version of Shania karaoke..
Right now, she's probably saying
"I'm drunk"and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky,
Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo...
And he don't know...
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,Cause the next time that he cheats...
Oh, you know it won't be on me!
No...not on me
'Cause I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
Oh.. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...
The Seattle Mist
