Standing Down!

Well it appears that the ransom note and package sent to my house was all a farce. As it turns out, Speedcathollydale is safe and in good hands. So I've called my friend Jack Bauer and thanked him for his offer to help out and ordered the troops to stand down. I've also stored the collected ransom items for any future emergencies. I must say, we've got a list of nice things.

Here's what I've collected so far:

1. Pentad - Three boxes of old notes and rejected articles from her book.
2. Kim - Three calendars with risque color pictures.
3. Jane Turley- One Tickling brush, feather duster and a bottom scrubber! Don't ask.
4. Wendster - Half a bottle of sun screen and all of her gardening clothes.
5. Robert - Half a bottle of Jack Daniels and an ashtray full of Camel butts.
6. Bellydancegirl- One set of Zils and a very sexy scarf.
7. Olgathetravelingbra - One box of training bras - Used.
8. Heather- 3 pair of old running shoes.

My personal thanks to each of you for coming to the aid of our good friend Speedy in his "almost" time of need!

Help Speedcat! Send Ransom!

INtRePid, I aM BeIng Held CaPtiVe by By 3 Crazy Women.

TheY MigHT Be wOrkInG FoR HoRtoN! Don'T sEnD HeLp YeT!

I WanT to LeT ThEm TortURE Me soMe MoRe! So I caN

LearN ThEir tRUe IdEntitIes.

Regards,

your bud,

SPeedCatHollydale

I received this notice and photo via Fedex this morning accompanied by a decapitated rubber chicken and a golf ball with a Horton label on it. Frankly, I can't tell if it's legitimate or not. I currently have two research teams working on the message looking for clues. Do any of you think this is real? It doesn't really look 100% like Speedcat. But who knows what the stress of being held captive might have done to his appearance? If you are a friend or blog buddy of Speedcat please stand by. I may need to collect items for his ransom. Whatever you have lying around the house would be helpful. Just to let you all know...

I've sent the following message to Speedcat:

Speedy, I'm not sure if this is a true call for help or not. But I have a Delta team standing by for your rescue. Jack Bauer is also on my speed dial. Furthermore, I'm notifying your blog buddies and collecting items for your ransom just in case we need to cut a deal. Please let me know if everything is alright. Otherwise, I'll wait to hear more from your captors.

"Intrepid, Just wanted to let you know I'm here for you..... A friend of yours is a friend of mine. So if you need some help with "Speedy"s" rescue, I'm available. Just hit me up on my cell!

Peace Out! Homey!

Jack"

So that's it for now. Please stay tuned. I'll keep you all posted on the progress.