So it was just one of those days.  A Friday.  Nothing really special about it.  The Friday before a long weekend....  sure, but other than that, it was an ordinary day.  I woke up, turned on the television and the channel happened to be on a premium station from the night before and there before my eyes.....

TED

Yes.. most of you are familiar with the movie from 2012 I'm sure.  It was on the part where Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis are in bed together and Ted runs in to join them and sings the "Thunder Song."  I'll admit  - I watched it for a bit before I switched to CNBC (a bad habit).  I kinda liked how they each had a different recall of the "how they met story."  The goofy dance crash story versus the suave "John Travolta - Saturday Night Fever" rendition.  Oh well, if you've seen the movie, you know the rest.  It gets lewd, vulgar, and funny at times.  A good pizza and beer movie.  

Here's the Trailer..  one of the cleaner versions of what's out there.

 

So anyway, here's where the story gets twisted and weird.  A few hours later as I'm driving around in my car fighting through the pre-holiday weekend traffic rush, somewhere between Beverly Hills and West Hollywood, I look up and there before my very eyes  

was   TED.

Fortunately, I had my trusted telephone at hand and I pulled it out and captured these photos. 

I'm thinking....  Someone didn't appreciate TED's sense of humor and lackadaisical attitude.   

Poor TED

Oh well.  As they  say, "Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman's Scorn!"

I think Mila did it.  

BTW, I learned a few things today as I created this post.  If you're not too bored with this story already, here's what I learned from IMDB:  

Seth MacFarlane who directed Ted, wrote the screen play, and did the voice of TED...

was born in the small New England town of Kent, Connecticut where he lived with his father (Ron), mother (Perry) and sister Rachael MacFarlane. He attended and studied animation at the Rhode Island School of Design and, after he graduated, he was hired by Hanna-Barbera Productions (Now called Cartoon Network Studios) working as an animator and writer on the TV series Johnny Bravo (1997) and Cow and Chicken(1995). He also worked for Walt Disney Animation as a writer on the TV series Jungle Cubs (1996). He created The Life of Larry (1995) which was originally supposed to be used as an in-between on MADtv (1995). Unfortunately the deal fell through but, a few months later, executives at FOX called him into their offices and gave him $50,000 to create a pilot for what would eventually become Family Guy (1999). On September 11, 2001, he was scheduled to return to Los Angeles on American Airlines Flight 11 after being a keynote speaker at his alma-mater in Rhode Island. Due to a mix-up by his travel agent, he was told that his flight was scheduled to depart at 8:15am but it really departed at 7:45am and he had arrived at Boston Logan Airport a few minutes after boarding was stopped on his flight and he was told he would have to wait for the next flight. At 8:45am, one hour after the departure of American Airlines Flight 11, it was hijacked by terrorists and crashed into One World Trade Center (North Tower) in New York City killing all on-board. He was able to contact his parents within 20 minutes of Flight 11 striking the first tower to tell them he was okay. He said that he thanked his travel agent for screwing up the departure time or he would have been on board.


But for a mix up by his travel agent (what is that by the way???)  There would be no Seth MacFarlane today and no Family Guy!

Nobody Knows!

Let's see, How do I do this posting thing again?

Wow! It's been a while since my last post.

I've had a challenging time finding my way around the system but - Lo!

I have found a way to recognize genius!

Creative Ideas! SSI Shredding Systems

The other day my paper shredder jammed. I was trying to figure out if I should repair it or buy a new one.

I came across this while surfing the web:

SSI Shredding Systems...

SSI designs, manufactures and supports industrial shredders and size reduction solutions for a wide array of applications from alternative fuels processing to tire shredders.




How do you eat an Elephant? One bite at a time.

How do you eat a Volkswagon? Watch This!




Fascinating!


So if you're looking for a quick way to get rid of some of the extra junk around your house, Maybe you should consider buying one of these gigantic shredders and keeping it in your back yard. Just think, your neighbors will love you!

Who said bigger isn't better?

Mexico - The Bad!

Okay, some of you - namely Dickster1961 and MickisMorsels - called me out on the "Bad" Mexico post. To be fair, you both make a strong case. Yes, it's hard to complain about some things in life but trust me, when I put my whining hat on, I can go with the best of them. But thanks in part to you two, I'll try to be a little realistic! (grin) as I share the "Bad" parts of my trip to Mexico. If nothing else, maybe I can add some humor.

You know how I feel about sunsets.......

Here's a not so perfect one. The sun is obscured by the clouds. -Bad!

Okay, take a really nice beach and pack it with people! Too crowded! Bad!




Go all the way to Mexico and shop at Wal-Mart! Way Bad!


Guys with automatic weapons on the crowded beach - Puts me in a BAD mood!
(Unless of course, they are protecting "ME" from the BAD guys)

People on the Beach asking me if I want to buy trinkets.....

BAD Timing!

Going to Mexico and eating and drinking too much (and not getting sick)!

Not a Bad way to spend a week!

I can't take your call right now, Please leave a message! - (A mentally twisted post!)

Just about a month ago, two people were arrested for smuggling contraband into the California Rehabilitation Center in Norco. Investigators said the pair put 29.4 grams of marijuana, seven bundles of tobacco, and 11 cellular phones with chargers and manuals inside two deflated footballs. They used packing tape to tape the footballs closed and then threw them over the perimeter fence. A correctional officer saw the footballs come over the fence and alerted other officers who seized the items.

This is the first story I can recall reading that involves cell phones being smuggled into prisons. I guess I'm behind the times but clearly, it's a growing trend. Cell phones, which are illegal in most prisons, are now just as valuable as drugs, tobacco, and weapons. According to authorities, cell phones are now being used to commit many crimes, everything from drug deals to murder, from behind prison walls. In fact, in Arkansas, state prison inmates Charles Wilson and convicted murderers Calvin Adams, and Jeffrey Grinder plotted their recent escapes from the Cummins Unit by using contraband cell phones.

There are many ways of smuggling banned items into prisons but an increasingly common technique is for cons or visitors to hide contraband inside body cavities to escape detection.

Several men were recently caught smuggling cell phones into an El Salvador prison by concealing the items in their intestines.....

An x-ray of an attempt to smuggle a cellphone into an El Salvador prison through the intestinal track (AP photo)



And now, that trend has carried over into the mainstream culture. Many people have discovered that even when they don't have pockets, they can still carry their cell phones.
So now, I find myself looking at complete strangers and wondering just where they might be concealing their cell phones!

"Did you just Fart or is that your '@$$' phone ringing?"

"Honey! Where did you get that cool Ring tone?"

"Do you mind if I put you on Speakerphone? "

"I think we should have gotten the cell phone insurance plan!"

"Wait a second! I'm getting a Fax!"

"That's it! Next time you get to smuggle in the charger!"

Wow! That's gotta hurt!

Creative Minds strike again! Elin Woods goes a clubbin'

When a picture is worth 1000 words.

Or several hundred million dollars in endorsements!

Okay, some of you got it right away. Yet, some of you really had to think about it and look at the photo over and over before it made sense. You probably asked yourself: Why is that lady chasing that mascot with a sand wedge? "Oh, wait a second! I get it!" Then the laugh......

So is that what you'll say the next time you see a Gillette Ad, or Nike commercial without Tiger Woods in it? - "Now I Get It" - Will you stop drinking Gatorade because Tiger endorsed it and now he seems to be out of public favor? What about you Buick drivers? Will you turn your car in for a different make?

I find this whole Tiger Woods event fascinating. Frankly, it's kinda been background noise in my life for the past few weeks. I've been so preoccupied (once again) with the trivial happenings in my life that I haven't really thought much about it. Sure, I've had the occasional laugh and joke, but today, I actually took a minute or two and reflected on his situation. I know it was over a minute because I looked down at my watch and noticed the second hand sweeping along the black background through at least two rotations. Don't be alarmed, I don't plan to delve deeply into the psychological or social implications of the event but I'll briefly share my thoughts with you.

I'm not sure I've ever purchased or used a product just because Tiger Woods endorsed it per se. Partial exception - I think Nike makes some cool stuff, and I'll concede that Tiger has helped to perpetuate and universalize the brand. I won't discount his effect on the branding of Nike and my subsequent purchase of Nike products. You can bet that I'll keep wearing and buying Nike stuff as long as it looks good and plays well. I am certain, however, that I've never relied on Tiger Woods to calibrate my moral compass. My successes and failures, like most people, have been independent of Tiger. I've viewed him as a Guy who takes no prisoners on the golf course. He's passionate about the game of golf and he's great at it. He wins and he does it in an exciting and convincing fashion. He takes a pretty boring spectator sport and infuses it with excitement. It was a bonus that he seemed to be socially conscious and a good role model. It's tragic that Tiger and Elin will now have to deal with issues of trust in order for their relationship to survive. Elin will have to believe that Tiger will no longer be unfaithful, and Tiger will have to believe that Elin won't club him to death while he's sleeping. Both difficult issues to overcome.

All this aside and at the end of the day, If Tiger comes back and kicks butt on the golf course, people will watch him and pull for him. Sure, he'll lose a couple of fans here and there because of his infidelity. But sports fans care about winning! People will look elsewhere for moral guidance and role models. Tiger has fallen off of that pedestal and will be viewed primarily as a sports figure. Should he get his head together and win some big tournaments again, the endorsements will follow!

As for me, I'm keeping my Tag Heuer Watch. Not because Tiger endorsed it or wears one. But because it's a great watch and it looks good!

That's just the way it is!

Reliable Crane and Rigging? Maybe Not! Accidents Do Happen!

Talk about a bad day at the office!

Fortunately, no one was injured in this accident but it's clear to me that the "Numbers" didn't quite add up.

Crane Smashes House

Let's see.... How does that equation go again?

(Total Weight of tree) x (Moment Arm) < (Total weight of cab) x (Moment Arm)

Ah, forget it.... I can't remember that stuff anymore

It's been a few years since I've had to make these computations but I guess there really is a practical application to all of the engineering mechanics I studied in college. I hate to see the effects of miscalculations when it results in bent metal, splintered wood, or injuries and casualties.

I'm relieved that no one was harmed when the crane smashed through this house in Santa Rosa, California and it's a little bit easier to giggle at it all and laugh it off knowing it's not my house and not my company that owned the crane, and no one got hurt. But I wonder how it's all going to get cleaned up. I'm sure the owners of the home will get their home repaired and all their furnishings will be replaced or fixed. That's what insurance is for right?

I'm a tad bit curious about the mistake that was made to allow this accident to happen. Clearly, someone decided it was okay to try to lift the tree over the house with the crane. I'm not completely sure what went wrong to allow the crane to tip over and smash the home but I'm sure it will be fully investigated and someone will be held accountable.

Here are a few details about the accident:

The accident happened at about 2:20 p.m. last Monday at a home on Molly Court, a small cul-de-sac in west Santa Rosa, according to fire Battalion Chief Andy Pforsich.

Apparently, they were using a crane to remove a tree from the back yard of the home. The weight of the tree was more than the crane could handle and the crane tipped backward and crashed into (through) the home. The cab portion of the crane remained suspended in the air Tuesday morning.

Dennis Olson, a neighbor who lives nearby on Nightingale Drive, said he was near the crane and saw it fall into the home.

"My first reaction was to get out of the way, and I ran to get clear in case it tipped sideways," Olson said. "Then I thought, Why didn't I hit the video button on my camera?"

Yep Mr Olson, it would have been nice to see the crash first hand. And I'm sure some network would have paid you big bucks for the rights to the video as well. But luckily you're safe. I read that Kevin and Michelle McCarthy, who had just moved in to the home in August, had gotten into a car accident earlier Monday, and the couple was in Marin County dealing with the crash when they got the call about their house. Sad news about their car accident .... but at least it kept them away from their house and away from danger.

Here's the news story:

So you want to play Tic Tac Toe?

I was bored and decided to goof off a bit.

A friend sent this to help me pass the time!

Be Careful - It's addictive!

Happy Halloween!

More Creative Commercials

Creatively Cute.



No, he didn't just call that guy a Shankapotomus did he? That kid is also cleverly cute. A nice advertising campaign by E-Trade!




"Skins Beat-Down! Read the Rules Shankapotomus!"

I like his style!

When It Hurts To Laugh!

Where's the Joke?


Kong Lin, 27, was using a pair of scissors to clean his teeth after eating a meal when a friend told a pretty funny joke. Kong couldn't stop laughing and he ended up swallowing a pair of 4-inch scissors.

"A picture is worth a thousand words."

Apparently, Kong Ling tried to cough up the scissors but the points got stuck. He was rushed to a hospital in Putian, China where surgeons were able to extract the scissors in about 30 minutes. See Daily Mail for more.

Confucius Says - "Man who picks teeth with scissors while laughing at funny joke ends up as Joke!"

Intrepid Says - "I want to hear the joke that was so Funny it made him swallow 4-inch scissors."

Logic Says - "If he was using the pointed end to pick his teeth wouldn't the scissors be facing the other way? Downward?

(Don't let this happen to you!)

Are These Bad Drivers?

Some of these clips are pretty jocular! At least from where I sit in my comfortable little office chair. We all make our mistakes and have our driving blunders... So, is it okay to laugh at these folks? Or is this a serious matter? Should they attend some sort of remedial driving school?

George W. Bush- How will he be Remembered?

Gone but not forgotten!

Anyone out there remember 2008 and the race for the Presidency? It wasn't that long ago but it seems like an eternity. What a street fight huh? When the election was over did any of you suffer withdrawal symptoms from the media overload of "Political Campaign Drama?" It's been a bit slow lately hasn't it? Nothing but talk of Tuesday's Inauguration and optimism and hope for change. I personally like that positive psychology.

However, with just a few days left in the second Bush term, there is a very definite Obama buzz humming around the globe but many are also silently wondering how history will view George W. Bush in the years that follow. There are those still taking final jabs at the Bush administration and reminding people that George W. Bush was at the helm during this wreck. I couldn't help but stop by this story on MSN Money today - Cost of Bush Era 11.5 Trillion! Even the most faithful supporters of Bush must be wondering how the $150 Billion surplus inherited from Bill Clinton just up and disappeared. Those most critical of the Bush administration continue to remind us that we will be saddled with this economic debt burden for decades and generations to come and that George W. Bush should always be remembered for his contributions and omissions towards this end.

With due consideration of these valid views, my thinking is that Americans have been pretty forgiving of past U.S. Presidents and this animosity and criticism will eventually diminish. As the days and years pass and the political and economic blunders are untangled, most people remember ex-Presidents as figures who have simply held the Nation's highest political office. The politics of their era or the mistakes they made will be highlighted in the history books and debated and studied at institutions of higher learning for centuries. But at the end of the day, they will be merely a name and a number for many and public opinion will slide more toward the middle. Case in point - Richard Nixon.

Will George W. be any different? Will he be remembered? Loved? Hated?

Will it be for his personality or for the events of his time?

Quien Sabes?

I don't know but here are a few of his signature moments just in case you missed them the first time!

We all make our mistakes. But "W" was noteworthy!

Here's a more recent clip from last week.

"Bush isms.... "Sometimes the words are correct..... they just get put in the wrong order!"

Maybe that's how George W. Bush will be remembered.

Just call me 3X Please!

Ever do something dumb? Funny? Embarrassing?

I'm sure many of you are thinking..... He's going back to his CTRL + Z post again. But wait a second. I'm not headed there. So let me ask you this.... Have you ever walked around all day with your fly (blouse for the women) open? Have you ever talked with someone for hours and learned later that you had food stuck in your teeth while you chatted? I'm asking about silly stuff like that.

Alternatively, what happens when you see someone else doing something that would be embarrassing for them? Do you tell them about it? For example, if you didn't know me but saw me walking around trailing toilet paper from my shoe, would you quietly tell me? Or would you just laugh at my ignorance and make fun of me when I wasn't looking?

I'm usually very generous with that sort of information. I'm generally happy to tell people they have green stuff hanging from a nostril or lint on their clothes. After all, I'd want to know something like that as soon as possible so that I could limit my exposure. I haven't always been this way though. I once attended an event hosted by Senator Paul Sarbanes with my sister. Nothing too fancy but most of the people were dressed nicely. I'm not sure if it was the two martinis we had or our inexperience at drinking (we were in our 20's) but when an uppity older guy (probably 45 ish and that seemed old back then) walked by us with the tag from the dry cleaners still on his fine Armani suit, we just couldn't stop laughing. We laughed and looked around and couldn't understand why someone in his family hadn't noticed it and pointed it out to him. We didn't have the heart to tell this guy. We just laughed.

Senator Sarbanes with President George W. Bush

And there was the time when I was eating lunch in Portugal with a co-worker. We were dinning with a senior colleague of ours who lived and worked in Portugal and were enjoying some pretty good BBQ chicken. Well, it seemed our senior member was enjoying it a bit more than we were because he managed to smear BBQ sauce all over his cheeks in the process. Did that stop him or even slow him down? Nope.... He continued to inhale his food while we fought back the laughter until tears came from our eyes. We still joke about that luncheon today. But never did we let on to our colleague that he amused us so.

I'm sure that I've unknowingly been on the opposite end of such humorous blunders but that doesn't make them any less funny. I'm happy that I could provide the entertainment. But let me tell you about another such experience that I enjoyed nearly two weeks ago. At the last minute, I discovered that I needed to fly to Sacramento, California for the day. I was able to book a flight on short notice but the flight that worked best for me was on an express carrier that flies smaller regional jets. No problem, I was happy to get a seat with such short notice. I even managed to get an exit row seat which I find attractive because of the extra leg room.

Surprise! Surprise! I walk on the airplane and in the seat next to me is possibly the biggest, widest person I've sat next to in a while. I greeted him pleasantly.... "Hi, How ya doing?" he replied.... "Very Well Thank You!" Not just okay. Not fine. Not alright. But "VERY WELL." Interesting I thought - and I fought back the urge to engage him in conversation and discover what on earth is going so right for him that he can shout out "Very Well" to the "how ya doing" question. Instead, I pulled out my ear phones and plugged them into my ears launching the international signal which says: Please don't talk to me - I don't want to be bothered. I know, sometimes that's a bit rude but I wasn't really interested in playing the 20 questions game. I just wanted to grab a quick nap after a busy weekend and early morning.

Anyway, that's when it started. You know.... The elbow and shoulder footsies game! I'm not a huge guy but at 6' 1" with slightly broad shoulders I've learned that when traveling in anything other than First class or Business class I've got to be prepared to do the shoulder rub thing with whoever might be next to me. And let's not discuss the armrest protocol. That's an entirely different subject. So off I went. I started slowly, leaning mostly into the aisle initially, thank God I had an aisle seat! Before long we were airborne and I tried to relax a bit. I put my head back on my seat and closed my eyes. I pretended that the soft fleshy sensation next to me wasn't the body of some strange man but instead was the cushion of some nice Italian lounge chair carefully crafted to fit my body.

That's when it hit me... Ouch! I thought. Something is sticking me in my arm. Has the lining come free from my luxurious lounge chair to leave a nail or tack to stick me? I opened my eyes and looked down to see the funniest thing!

Oh No, tell me this isn't happening - I thought. Mr. "Very Well Thank You" has forgotten to take the sales tag off of his shirt and it's sticking me in the arm. Yes! Right there not even a foot from my face. So close that I could read it. KMART, Size 3X. I could even read the price. $16.99 each or 2 for $28.00. I'm sure he got the "volume" discount. That's too good of a deal to pass up.

So now I was faced with a dilemma. Do I tell this guy his tag is poking me in the arm and risk the chance of embarrassing him. Or do I suffer through this and pull out my Blackberry and discreetly snap a photo. I pondered..... This will make a great blog post somehow.... (snicker)

And the rest is blog history.

Mr 3X, I'm not sure where you are today but if you find yourself somehow reading this post, please be aware that you have a KMart sales tag hanging from at least one of your shirts! I'd suggest you run to your closet and check them all. Tomorrow you may laugh at me but today it's your turn to be laughed at!