I can't take your call right now, Please leave a message! - (A mentally twisted post!)

Just about a month ago, two people were arrested for smuggling contraband into the California Rehabilitation Center in Norco. Investigators said the pair put 29.4 grams of marijuana, seven bundles of tobacco, and 11 cellular phones with chargers and manuals inside two deflated footballs. They used packing tape to tape the footballs closed and then threw them over the perimeter fence. A correctional officer saw the footballs come over the fence and alerted other officers who seized the items.

This is the first story I can recall reading that involves cell phones being smuggled into prisons. I guess I'm behind the times but clearly, it's a growing trend. Cell phones, which are illegal in most prisons, are now just as valuable as drugs, tobacco, and weapons. According to authorities, cell phones are now being used to commit many crimes, everything from drug deals to murder, from behind prison walls. In fact, in Arkansas, state prison inmates Charles Wilson and convicted murderers Calvin Adams, and Jeffrey Grinder plotted their recent escapes from the Cummins Unit by using contraband cell phones.

There are many ways of smuggling banned items into prisons but an increasingly common technique is for cons or visitors to hide contraband inside body cavities to escape detection.

Several men were recently caught smuggling cell phones into an El Salvador prison by concealing the items in their intestines.....

An x-ray of an attempt to smuggle a cellphone into an El Salvador prison through the intestinal track (AP photo)



And now, that trend has carried over into the mainstream culture. Many people have discovered that even when they don't have pockets, they can still carry their cell phones.
So now, I find myself looking at complete strangers and wondering just where they might be concealing their cell phones!

"Did you just Fart or is that your '@$$' phone ringing?"

"Honey! Where did you get that cool Ring tone?"

"Do you mind if I put you on Speakerphone? "

"I think we should have gotten the cell phone insurance plan!"

"Wait a second! I'm getting a Fax!"

"That's it! Next time you get to smuggle in the charger!"

Wow! That's gotta hurt!

Creative Minds strike again! Elin Woods goes a clubbin'

When a picture is worth 1000 words.

Or several hundred million dollars in endorsements!

Okay, some of you got it right away. Yet, some of you really had to think about it and look at the photo over and over before it made sense. You probably asked yourself: Why is that lady chasing that mascot with a sand wedge? "Oh, wait a second! I get it!" Then the laugh......

So is that what you'll say the next time you see a Gillette Ad, or Nike commercial without Tiger Woods in it? - "Now I Get It" - Will you stop drinking Gatorade because Tiger endorsed it and now he seems to be out of public favor? What about you Buick drivers? Will you turn your car in for a different make?

I find this whole Tiger Woods event fascinating. Frankly, it's kinda been background noise in my life for the past few weeks. I've been so preoccupied (once again) with the trivial happenings in my life that I haven't really thought much about it. Sure, I've had the occasional laugh and joke, but today, I actually took a minute or two and reflected on his situation. I know it was over a minute because I looked down at my watch and noticed the second hand sweeping along the black background through at least two rotations. Don't be alarmed, I don't plan to delve deeply into the psychological or social implications of the event but I'll briefly share my thoughts with you.

I'm not sure I've ever purchased or used a product just because Tiger Woods endorsed it per se. Partial exception - I think Nike makes some cool stuff, and I'll concede that Tiger has helped to perpetuate and universalize the brand. I won't discount his effect on the branding of Nike and my subsequent purchase of Nike products. You can bet that I'll keep wearing and buying Nike stuff as long as it looks good and plays well. I am certain, however, that I've never relied on Tiger Woods to calibrate my moral compass. My successes and failures, like most people, have been independent of Tiger. I've viewed him as a Guy who takes no prisoners on the golf course. He's passionate about the game of golf and he's great at it. He wins and he does it in an exciting and convincing fashion. He takes a pretty boring spectator sport and infuses it with excitement. It was a bonus that he seemed to be socially conscious and a good role model. It's tragic that Tiger and Elin will now have to deal with issues of trust in order for their relationship to survive. Elin will have to believe that Tiger will no longer be unfaithful, and Tiger will have to believe that Elin won't club him to death while he's sleeping. Both difficult issues to overcome.

All this aside and at the end of the day, If Tiger comes back and kicks butt on the golf course, people will watch him and pull for him. Sure, he'll lose a couple of fans here and there because of his infidelity. But sports fans care about winning! People will look elsewhere for moral guidance and role models. Tiger has fallen off of that pedestal and will be viewed primarily as a sports figure. Should he get his head together and win some big tournaments again, the endorsements will follow!

As for me, I'm keeping my Tag Heuer Watch. Not because Tiger endorsed it or wears one. But because it's a great watch and it looks good!

That's just the way it is!

Tiger Woods Photo! Ooouch!

See it here first. Tiger Woods in post-accident photos!

Okay, that was a cheap shot.... Someone clearly got creative with photoshop software and manipulated a photo of Tiger and his wife Elin. I received this in an email. (I'm not mentioning any names) It just goes to show you that people love you when you're winning and on top, but as soon as you stumble - they kick you a few times and pull out their photoshop software and make fun of you.

Once again..... Life isn't fair!

So you want to play Tic Tac Toe?

I was bored and decided to goof off a bit.

A friend sent this to help me pass the time!

Be Careful - It's addictive!

Happy Halloween!

When It Hurts To Laugh!

Where's the Joke?


Kong Lin, 27, was using a pair of scissors to clean his teeth after eating a meal when a friend told a pretty funny joke. Kong couldn't stop laughing and he ended up swallowing a pair of 4-inch scissors.

"A picture is worth a thousand words."

Apparently, Kong Ling tried to cough up the scissors but the points got stuck. He was rushed to a hospital in Putian, China where surgeons were able to extract the scissors in about 30 minutes. See Daily Mail for more.

Confucius Says - "Man who picks teeth with scissors while laughing at funny joke ends up as Joke!"

Intrepid Says - "I want to hear the joke that was so Funny it made him swallow 4-inch scissors."

Logic Says - "If he was using the pointed end to pick his teeth wouldn't the scissors be facing the other way? Downward?

(Don't let this happen to you!)